Camp Nanowrimo?

Dear Readers,

Here on my small plot of land the sun is shining (most of the time) and the bugs are buzzing (all of the time) and my dogs just can't stop panting because they are really warm (it's summer time). 

It is pretty hot out there. But summer is also very eager this year, so we must forgive it. I, for one, enjoy the air conditioning at my day job. I enjoy running with my dad even though I can honestly say I've never sweated this much in my whole life. And overall, it just smells really nice outside. Can I get an amen? 

Maybe I spend too much time watching Youtube videos, and listening to cool music, or reading rad books... whatever it is I have once again fallen off the writing wagon. Not in the sense that I am not writing EVER, but in the sense that I am again fighting that devilishly charming procrastinator inside of me who believes that time is limitless and she is invincible. Plus she's carrying around some pretty heavy expectations for herself, so that's annoying.

So today I forced myself to open a draft on blogger and by golly I am going to proofread this for grammar errors (don't judge me if I miss anything) and post it, because I write for me, and I write to express (something). 

Truly. I've written so many cool scenes in my head that I just shrug off because I don't like looking at icky first drafts. I have this cool vision of me as this writer that appears in the movies with perfectly messy hair and a pen poised over the paper, sitting in a very well furnished room that is cozy without being cramped and is it too much to ask to look cool while doing the thing I love?

The fact is you most probably, most definitely will not look cool at least 70% of the time while doing the thing you love. Because most of it involves practice. With your tongue sticking out or your shoulders trying to hunch or sweat pouring out of your everything or a persistently messy desk.

So I've decided to delete the writer I want to be. I'll embrace my curly hair and super cheesy first drafts and I will write, not to play dress up as the person I wish I was, but because it is what I want to do. Me. Julia. Do you ever feel like that? Like the person you want to be is outshining who you are right now? Stop it. They don't exist yet. You exist. You breathe and think and dance and gosh dang it, you rock. So do I, honestly. Because I am me. You are you. 

Oh, and Camp Nanowrimo starts in like two days. Go here to find out how to sign up. Basically it is a wonderful online oasis for writers to pursue creative goals during the month of July. I'll be there sporting my sweet username, Treblemaker22, because I was 13 ok? Friend me if you want. Send me a letter at camp. Send me judgy vibes if I stop posting on my blog because I love my blog. 

Thanks for reading, Reader.

Love,

Julia